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The Disgrace Returns, Looking For Redemption

The Montreal GM and roster players were busy counting up the lunch money they had taken from some nerds when they heard a sound that was all too familiar coming from the other side of the door.

Dammit, it was that disgrace Stamkos. Ever since Ovie and the Habs told him to get the f*** out of Montreal to never return he had been constantly calling everyone within the organization begging for them to convince GM MacPherson to allow him to come back to the greatest team in the GVFHL. GM MacPherson was about to tell him to take a hike when Ovie got up instead. Ovie opened the door and told Stamkos if he wanted to be part of the cool kids club that he had to do all of the players homework and give up all the money he made to them so they could get an 8.5 million dollar waterslide installed at the team pool. Stamkos had tears of joy and agreed. So as a result of this the lines for next season are currently this

Forwards

Ovechkin – Forsberg – Anderson

Tkachuk – Stamkos – Carter

Tanev – Coleman – Suzuki

??? – Foligno – Paquette

Defence

Krug – Manson

McDonagh – Gudas

Ellis – Schenn

Goalies

Lehner

Elvis

A team that completely disregards all the nerd stats and plays a physical game. All the cool tough kids want to come to Montreal. There have been rumors around the league that players on all the other teams in the league are begging their managements to not make them play the Habs.

Nerds Beware

Montreal’s GM was thinking about how to make his team better while studying physics and how the universe when it dawned on him. He saw that various teams were getting players like Pavelski and Huberdeau, players with high levels of skill. But you know what they lack? Grit. And what players don’t have grit? Nerds. There is no room for nerds on the Habs team. The Habs need to be built to give the other teams “superstars” with no grit swirly’s in the locker rooms before games. The Habs were asking about Huberdeau you say? Well guess what hypothetical person questioning Montreal’s hypocrisy of not wanting Huberdeau because he’s a nerd? Give me your lunch money, god damn nerd.

Ovechkin was the start of the “Nerds Beware” culture of the Habs with his big bodied self having decent IT, but the Habs needed more of that sweet cherry pie. Incomes 99IT guys like Brandon Tanev and Luke Schenn, they will be sure to make the nerds run and hide. But still the Habs needed more, so the Habs traded Brock Nelson for Josh Anderson. Anderson has more grit than Nelson, Anderson will get the Habs a lot of lunch money from the skilled dorks of the league. The Habs have players on the team that are hypocritical to what the Habs are saying because they have low IT you say? Well the Habs need some nerds on the squad to do their homework. It’s just good business. The Habs new strategy is if they can’t beat you on the scoreboard, they will try to run your through the boards.

He’s Baaacckkk

The Habs were pondering today while going through some of their philosophical texts and wondered, what went wrong this season? They came within one game of the conference finals the season before this past one, upgraded the team big time to be able to take on the Bolts, and than were demolished by them in round 2. It was a shock to the system and hard to swallow after beating the Isles in 7. Looking back at the 2018 squad that won a cup the Habs wondered “What did that squad have that this one is missing?”. Then it dawned on GM MacPherson, there were 2 key differences, 1 difference in style of GMing and 1 in the roster makeup. The difference in style of gming was the Habs moto of “f*** the future, our time is now” approach and throwing all caution into the wind for a cup. The 2nd difference was that the roster had a player on that 2018 squad that the 2021 squad didn’t. Alex fucking Ovechkin. So in a fit of desperation to try to beat out the Bolts the Habs GM called St.Louis and gave up 2 key future assets in Noah Dobson and Jesperi Kotkaniemi for Uncle Ovie. But you know what? F*** prospects they’re for losers. You know what isn’t for losers? Ovie baby. Ovie is what matters, uncle Alex will whip these boys into cup winning shape.

The Habs proceed to go on a tirade of moves. Number 1 after getting Ovie was giving him the C immediately and telling Stamkos to pack up and get the f*** out of Montreal. He dishonored the Habs while wearing the C with his pitiful playoff performance. The next course of action was telling Torey Krug and Blake Coleman to stay put for 1 more year as the Habs were f****** going for the cup baby. They both are signing 1 year deals and hoping to get to the f****** promised land baby. The Habs also threw Nick Bonino’s contract into the abyss that is Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh’s gm made a good move by taking dead cap and tanking so she can take Shane Wright you say? Well guess what? Shane Wright is a prospect, and you know what prospects are for? Losers. The last move of note that has been announced as of today was acquiring Brandon Tanev, a good ole North American boy(as hockey legend Brian Burke would say) with grit, defence and speed. Montreal should try to get a team with well balanced scoring lines with more skill and less grit you say? Shut up nerds, analytics sucks. Grit is what wins cups, not your computer overlords fancy numbers. Was your GVFHL team hoping to win a cup? Well be prepared to be disappointed, Ovie is back with the Habs and they are going for it.

Tampa Bay Lightning – 2021 GVFHL Stanley Cup Champion

Tampa Bay Lightning – 2021 GVFHL Stanley Cup Champion

Habs Prepping For Playoff Run

The Habs have had a decent regular season. Bordering around the top 10 teams in the league and been pretty good in an ultra competitive Eastern Conference where any of the top 7 teams could come out as the Eastern Conference Champs this year. Despite having a good team, the Habs management group felt that the team needed more. The has been really good at keeping the puck out of the net this year as they have the best PK unit in the league currently with a 92.5% success rate and the 5th best GA/G at 2.44. The offensive side has had mixed results with a 20th ranked PP unit at 13.4% and a 13th ranked GF/G at 3.18. The Habs don’t have an abundance of spare youth running around for a big time add with what’s on the market this season. However, they may have found a player who fits the mold for the type of player they need perfectly.

Jeff Carter was acquired from the Flames for 2 4th round picks in 2021 along with a 7th rounder in 2022. Carter is no all-star talent as he is near the end of his career, but he is still an alright goal scorer while having decent two-way ability. Carter will likely take Suzuki’s spot on the 3rd liner and will bump Brassard out of the lineup. Carter also adds a ton of experience and leadership to this young Habs team as well. Carter’s 5.27M cap hit would usually scare the Habs away, but they saved up a ton of cap this year and right now they can spend up to 98.6M of day on cap according to the GVFHL CapGeek. With that in mind, this move brings the Habs cap hit up to only 83M, so with 15M more of playing room will they make any other adds? It wouldn’t be surprising as the Habs believe they have got a good core. There may not be a ton of high end skill, but there sure is a ton of grit which makes the Habs a difficult matchup on any given night. This upcoming deadline will be interesting as the Habs have let the rest of the league know that they mean business.

Letter Sent to Fans in Anaheim

The 20-21 Reverse Retro Jersey of the Anaheim Ducks

The franchise mailed a letter to its season ticket holders and shared the letter from the organization’s Twitter account. The letter thanked the fans for their ongoing support and unwavering loyalty. It also detailed the front office’s plans for the future.

Anaheim has already lost a number of familiar faces this offseason, culminating this week with the departure of two longtime Ducks, Matt Dumba and Adam Henrique.

After the team was unable to attract any significant talent during the offseason, several GVFHL journeymen were signed to 1-year deals. Many analysts suggested that this signaled the beginning of a rebuild – especially when considered in conjunction with a tumultuous front office cleanse which likely can be blamed for their failures in free agency. Anaheim held an extensive search for a new General Manager. Unfortunately, one that concluded after the UFA pool had all but dried up.

GM Ken took over the franchise with a decision looming large – retool again for a playoff run, as Anaheim fans have come to expect, or go a step further to reshape and rebuild for the future. Since the league’s inaugural season, Anaheim has made the playoffs every year but one – but has yet to make it out of the Conference Semifinals. The team has accomplished just enough on the ice year after year to miss out on the most illustrious prospects, a critical foundation to any blueprint for postseason success.

Ultimately, GM Ken made the tough choice and perhaps the right choice – but far from the obvious one. While great players have come and gone in Anaheim, regular playoff pushes have taken a toll on their prospect pool.

GM Ken has been continuously evaluating his team and sources say he’s listening to all offers. He’s said to have alerted his Director of Amateur scouting that there will be no shortage of picks in this year’s draft. It seems it’s time to prepare for a new generation of talent in Orange County.

Stamkos Traded To Montreal

For the majority of the summer the Habs were looking for a true star player to lead the team towards a potential cup run this season. The Habs had a solid 3 line team in their opinion but they felt that they were missing a player that could put the team on their back and win a series single handedly for them.

Enter Steven Stamkos.

The Habs had interest in Stamkos for the majority of the offseason but wanted to see how ufa played out before acquiring him. Stamkos adds a true superstar to the Habs that they have lacked since Ovie was traded in the 2018 offseason. Stamkos looks to center a line with Tkachuk on his left and Forsberg on his right. This line has a bit of everything, high power scoring, two-way ability, and grit.

“He’s obviously a huge add to the team” said GM MacPherson when asked about adding Stamkos. “We came within one game of the finals and we believed we would’ve made it if we had a bit more firepower and he brings just that”.

Even with the add of Stamkos the Habs aren’t the team to beat in the east, but they are for sure a contender who could come out of the east.

Isles 2020 Draft Review

Despite the New York Islanders being cup contenders, they still had a solid draft adding 8 prospects.

Roby Jarventie – LW –2nd Round, 59th Overall – 7.0/3.5 (Dobber Fantasy Upside/NHL Certainty)

With the first pick, the Islanders added a speedy goal scoring winger. A modern power forward who uses his size to protect the puck. Isn’t afraid to drive to the net. Owns a great shot and decent playmaking abilities. Has potential to become a 30-goal scorer. Jarventie projects as a top 6 winger.

Eamon Powell – D – 4th Round, 92nd Overall – Dobber Ratings NA

With the next pick, the Isles added the best skater in the draft. His skating and hockey IQ are at an elite level which could take him very far in the NHL. If he can improve on his weaknesses, the sky’s the limit for the Boston College commit. Powell has top four potential.

Anton Johannesson – D – 4th Round, 112th Overall – 8.0/2.0 (Dobber Fantasy Upside/NHL Certainty)

The second defender taken by New York, Johannesson could be a real gem. He has elite puck skills and is very smart with the puck. He skates with ease and can move around coast-to-coast with the puck. He is also a strong first pass defenseman and plays with confidence in tight situations. He processes the game well and has strong awareness. Johannesson projects as a top four defender.

Mitchell Miller – D – 5th Round, 142nd Overall – Dobber Ratings NA

The Islanders went for their third defender in a row selecting Miller, a player ranked much higher on many draft boards. Certainly more of an offensive defenseman, Miller has shown that he has the skill required to make an impact at the next level. His skills are great for today’s fast-paced game and whichever team calls his name will be getting a solid prospect. Miller projects as a middle pairing defender.

Theo Rochette – C – 5th Round, 146th Overall – Dobber Ratings NA

A few picks later, the Isles went for a player who had first round talk, but has fallen. Heading into the beginning of the season Rochette was considered one of the best passers in the entire draft and it wasn’t by accident. He has above-average vision and can thread the needle with a hard, accurate pass. Rochette is one of those players who can stickhandle in a phone booth. Rochette projects as a middle six center.

Dmitri Zlodeyev – C – 6th Round, 176th Overall – 5.0/2.0 (Dobber Fantasy Upside/NHL Certainty)

New York went with another center at the end of the 6th round, with a two way scoring center. A responsible 200-foot player with solid playmaking and shooting ability. Can lead a powerplay by himself. With the puck on his stick, Zlodeyev is nearly impossible to stop. To go along with his pure speed, his lateral movement and agility make him incredibly unpredictable and he uses his skating ability to create space in the offensive zone. Zlodeyev projects as a middle six center.

Nick Malik – G – 7th Round, 185th Overall – 7.5/2.0 (Dobber Fantasy Upside/NHL Certainty)

With the next pick, the Islanders added a goalie projected to go much higher in the draft. A butterfly goalie with good size, superb reflexes, good puck skills, and NHL bloodlines. Has already had success at the men’s level at a young age. Malik projects to become a starting goalie at the NHL level.

Simon Kubicek – D – 7th Round, 206th Overall – 5.0/2.0 (Dobber Fantasy Upside/NHL Certainty)

The Islanders closed out the draft by getting great value with Kubicek. Kubicek is a solid two-way defender who can play in all situations. He certainly is not a flashy player in any regard but is quite effective no matter how he is deployed. He projects to be a middle pairing defender.

Habs Making Moves, Bring In Ellis, Nelson and Coleman

This past season the Habs made a Cinderella run to the eastern conference finals, playing in 3 game 7’s along the way the Habs bet heavyweight teams such as the Hurricanes and Bolts before losing 3-2 in game 7 to the eventual champions the Tampa Bay Lighting. The Habs were without Forsberg that game and they could’ve possibly made the finals if he hadn’t gotten injured in game 6. After coming so close to the cup finals again the Habs have shown that they are hungry to get back making some big moves.

The biggest move out of them all was bringing in Ryan Ellis from the Sabres. Ellis is an offensive dynamo and looks to be the Habs #1 d-man heading into next season. The Habs had to part with Rasmus Sandin and pick 27 to make this happen but for such a high calibre d-man on a sweetheart contract it was a deal that puts the Habs into a really good situation financially.

One of the first deals that was made by the Habs this offseason was acquiring Brock Nelson. The big bodied sniper will be one of the Habs biggest goal scoring threats this season. The Habs had to give up Kupari for Nelson but were able to upgrade their Arizona 5th 2020 to Boston’s 3rd in 2020(more on this pick in a bit). Nelson will have some very good playmakers feeding him passes so it’s easy to see him excelling in a Habs uniform.

Another big bodied goal scorer, Coleman was brought in earlier today by the Habs to fill a 2nd line scoring role for the team. Unlike Nelson however, Coleman is a pretty good defender and brings a lot of sandpaper to his game. Coleman will likely see pk ice-time at some point and he’s a guy that will cause the opposing team to keep their heads on a swivel to avoid receiving a massive hit.

The final deal of significance to Montreal’s title hopes next year is acquiring Brassard for his second stint in a Habs uniform. Brassard was traded in the offseason for Ryan Kesler right before Montreal won their GVFHL cup. Brassard will play a 4th line grinding role and has the ability to chip in a goal here and there.

While the Habs don’t have a Crosby or Ovie level superstar on their team they are still a deep squad. They look to be a physical two-way squad next year as they try to use the same formula that won them their first cup. One thing is for certain, Habs GM Blake MacPherson is far from done with this team and he will continue to mould this team into a championship calibre team.

The 2020 Bolts: Champions of the GVFHL

When i rejoined the league last summer, I wrote about how the Bolts should be rebuilding. Funny how a few months can change an outlook. The Bolts won the GVFHL Cup after a stunning seven game victory over Keith Sturgeon and his Oilers. The Bolts were in a hole after dropping the first three games with Ben Bishop the Bolts star tender getting the hook each game. It was pointless to let him play anymore and that’s when Jack Campbell got the call. Jack had been the Bolts starter since joining the team last summer. It was a January trade that brought Bishop to Tampa and he had been dynamite up until the finals. So as they say, the rest is history. Jack took the baton and rattled off four straight victories leading the Bolts to their first ever GVFHL Cup.

So let’s take a closer look at how the Bolts we’re assembled. The team I inherited had some nice pieces, they certainly we’re not a contender but had enough pieces to add instead of gutting. The two biggest holes were on D and in G. I had Byfuglien but little else on the back end. In net, I have Grubarer who is trending up but was more rated as a back up. The first two trades I made in my return addressed some of each of those holes:

June 16:
Nikita Zadorov, Jamie Oleksiak from Columbus for Evan Barrat, Pierre-Oliver Joseph, 3rd in 2021. This gave me top top 4 dmen and most importantly, they were not rentals so well worth the price.

June 17:
Jack Campbell from Sharks for Jeremy Davies, Axel Jonsson Fjallby, 6th in 2020. This gave me a potential starter rating with top notch ratings in key areas but because he did not play many NHL games, he had low EN/DU.

Next up was UFA and there were some changes since my original stint in the league (former Ducks GM). I was able to learn on the fly and landed my number one target in Patrice Bergeron. Adding Bergy with Couturier in a one-two punch center combo allowed me to move Giroux onto RW increasing my top six lethal-ness. The rest of UFA was about adding depth signing bottom sixers; Riley Nash, Riley Sheahan, Ian Cole and Carl Gunnarsson. And that was that, the team was fairly set, some holes still but decent enough to compete for a playoffs spot.

Then in January while they team was showing some promise Ben Bishop hit the market. Grubauer and Campbell were doing ok but I knew id need a top end goalie to have a chance so after some quick negotiations I made another deal:

January 25:
Ben Bishop, Brandon Dubinsky from Flames for Philipp Grubauer, 1st, 3rd, 6th in 2020. It again cut into this teams futures but Bishop was signed cheap ($3m cap) and signed for 2 seasons so I pulled the trigger.

The next deal was pretty big from not only number of players (8 players, 3 draft picks) but also in impact.

March 6:
Bryan Rust, Tom Wilson, Brendan Leipsic, Tyler Pitlick from NY Rangers for Jamie Benn, Robby Fabbri, Logan Brown, Jonathan Davidsson, 1st, 2nd, 4th in 2021. Wilson was something for now and Rust was something for later. It cost a ton but the Rags did not part with Tom Wilson easily. I seen Wilson as a rare commodity, similar to E.Kane, a top forward who can score, hit and punish.

One last deal before this team stood pat:

March 18:
Leo Komarov from Edmonton for 7th in 2020. This one was an afterthought but for a 7th was an easy yes. Funny how I ended up facing Uncle Leos old team in the finals, you just never know.

So off the bolts went to the playoffs, I played with the lines constantly, testing different combos and matchups to get the best mix on each line. The team finished with 46 wins and 104 points but in the talented Eastern conference that placed me as the six seed, set to face McDavid and the Islanders.

Round 1: Bolts (6) vs. Islanders (3)

Justin’s islanders were the favorite, they had home ice, McDavid and momentum. Game one was a slaughter as the Islanders won easily 7-1. I made adjustments and had a much better result in game two winning in OT as Oleksiak notched the PP winner. I was able to win my two home games and went on to win the series in 6. Started to believe.

Round 2: Bolts (6) vs. Florida (7)

Shane had a solid team with two-thirds of the best line in hockey in Marchand and Pasternak. I had Bergeron but in net, the Panthers had one of the best in Hellybuck. I again dropped game one in what looked like what could be a short series but the Bolts fought hard in game two and got the split. Tampa again won game three and then followed that up with a big OT win in game four thanks to a Ryan Dzingal goal. The Bolts finished the cats off in 5 and moved onto the conference finals.

Round 3: Bolts (6) vs. Montreal (8)

While Montreal was the eight seed, the experience Blake had in this league would be a factor as his Habs won games one and two in Tampa. Normally it would be panic time but both losses were in OT which meant we we’rent playing bad but just needed some lucky bounces. Sure enough my faith in this team payed off as we rattled off three straight wins to go up 3-2 in the series. Game six was won by the Habs setting the stage for a winner take all game seven. Game seven was a battle (by all accounts) and Bishop paid off as we won the game and he was named the games first star.

Finals: Bolts (6) vs. Edmonton (8)

Another eight seed in Edmonton who did not care where they finished in the standings. Keith’s Oilers stormed the Bolts out of the gate winning the first three games 6-1, 7-2, 5-2. The Bolts were stunned. How could one of the top rated goalies in the league shit the bed three games in a row? Had the Oilers done some off voodoo curse on Ben Bishop? There was little left to do but turn it over the Jack Campbell. The Bolts need to win out and he did just that winning four straight in a comeback for the ages. Campbell did not let in more than 2 goals versus one of the highest scoring playoff teams. It was a big victory and one I’ll cherish forever.

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